Once upon a time, in a land far away, (damn Australia, can’t we move near England?) there lived a young girl named Elise. Elise was unlike most teenagers her age, she and many others had chosen to spend their life on the Internet. She had even given up her soul to the god, Tumblr.
One night, as she was completing her regular blogging session, Elise began to notice something strange. There was an ache radiating from her chest, her boobs were in pain. For the first time in her life she had blogged laying on her stomach, and what a mistake that was.
The pain from her boobs continued for a good few minutes before she cracked. She threatened her boobs, telling them if they didn’t behave she would kill them. She warned her boobs that their death would be entirely unpleasant. Elise then gave her boobs an extra five minutes to think over their choice.
When the time came and the boobs had not yet given up their attack, Elise took matters into her own hands. She stood and summed the gate to hell, her boobs never stood a chance. In one foul swoop, Elise ripped her boobs from her chest and threw them through the gates.
The unfortunate boobs spiraled down for what seemed like forever before landing in the fiery pits of hell. There they would stay for all of eternity, ridden with guilt of the pain they had caused their master.
While back on Earth, Elise lived happily blogging for the rest of her days in what ever position she wanted.